You might be a pilot if...

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You might be a pilot if…

- you say or hear “niner” and think nothing of it

- you know it’s “three six zero,” not just “zero”

- information Whiskey has a special place in your heart

- “correction” has replaced “er, umm, I mean” in your everyday speech

- You know way too many acronyms (AGL, MSL, VFR, IFR, VMC, IMC, CFR, ADM, AIM, AFM, POH, ATIS, ASOS, AWOS, CTAF, NOTAM, FSS, VOR, DME, NDB, ILS, VASI, PAPI, REIL, HIRL, MIRL, RCLS, ATCRBS, TRSA, KIAS, KCAS, the list goes on)

- you get in your car and think, “checklist”

- you know “kilo” is a letter, not a weight

- you can always pick out a Canadian on the radio, eh

- you no longer check normal weather websites, but rather the METAR for the nearest airport

- “ceiling” is not just part of a building to you

- The number ‘8’ has a very special significance, and you plan your night with that in mind

- you have an E6B

- you can do way too much with said E6B

- cars seem weird because you don’t use your feet to steer them

- you watch every plane that flies overhead, even though you’ve seen them up close and fly them

- you enjoy the smell of avgas

- you know the call signs for many major airlines

- you've been told NOT to do math in the plane because you'll just get lost

- you get out of your car and think, "post-drive"

- your pre-drive briefing includes how to fasten, adjust, and release the seat belts, driveway heading, speed for leaving the drive-way, initial road heading, ETE and ETA, cruising speed, emergency procedures, and that you will remain in control in case of said emergencies

 

*Additions*

- you would be more worried about losing your logbook than your first born child (Travis Rup)

- you reach into your pocket at a party and find a weight and balance printout (John Effinger)

- you spend hours at the airport looking at airplanes but you have no intention of actually flying anywhere (Sam Hammarback)

- you do an instrument scan while driving (Dan Giacomini)

- you know that cumulonimbus is something that should be feared and respected (Travis Rup)

- you visually and verbally clear the intersection when the light turns green (Eric Smith)

- when giving directions, you give 270 instead of West (Adam Foote)

- you conduct a fuel drain test after getting gas in your car at a gas station (Greg Taylor)

- you see a UFO and think, "What a beautiful standing lenticular cloud!" (Jonathan Thorne)

- when referring to travel to another city as going 'up' there only applies when the city is at a higher elevation than yours (Nathanial Beer)

- when you refer to stalling as both fun and a controlled maneuver (Daniel Haak)

- you play every video game with the controls 'inverted'... cause the default setting is WRONG, just wrong... (Tony Weaver)

- "affirmative" and "negative" replace "yes" and "no" in your conversations with your friends (Levi Oelrich)

- you avoid driving behind trucks and buses (Zafer Barutcuoglu)

- you apply back pressure on the steering wheel on dirt roads (Zafer Barutcuoglu)

- people avoid bringing up the weather for smalltalk with you anymore (Zafer Barutcuoglu)

- you see red lights up ahead while driving and use both feet to brake (Carol Cushman)

- when someone asks you for the temperature you have to give it to them in degrees Celsius (and you're not from Canada) (Carol Cushman)

- while driving a car you almost pull on the emergency hand brake in an attempt to "add flaps" (Bryan Shirota)

- you have ever used chocks on your vehicle (Robert Hogue)

- you set the radio in your car to the proper frequencies before driving anywhere (Jonathan Thorne)

- you reply to a friend's favor with "Understand request, picking you plus three up at..." (Jacob Hedberg)

- you start to find similarities between airplanes and the opposite sex and find airplanes the easier one to work with!!! (John Rushmore)

- the only books you own are jeppesen and other aviation materials (Ashley Lemmer)

- you just for fun draw out diagrams of the traffic pattern and aircraft systems (Ashley Lemmer)

- you label non-aircraft related things as INOP when they don't work (Jamie Hamilton)

- you avoid saying "repeat" in casual conversation (Colin Nelson)

- you know exactly what "Flying the Victor 181 from Gulf-Foxtrot-Kilo to Foxtrot-Alpha-Romeo" means (Eric Smith)

- you absolutely and passionately HATE flight planning...and filing said hated flight plan (Robert Hogue)

- you think of time in tenths of an hour (David Bachem)

- you passionately detest the ten-code radio system (Kim Harrie)

- you spell everything using the phonetic alphabet (Trevor Primett)

- you name your first born child David Clark (Greg Taylor)

- you follow the pretty pink line instead of the yellow brick road (Jamie Hamilton)

- people get confused when they look at your watch because it is set to zulu time (Nathanial Beer)

- you attempt to do coordinated turns in your car (Meredith Wills)

- when getting married you say "affirmative' instead of " I do" (Barry Hammarback)

- you wear a flight suit for causal purposes (Nathanial Beer)

- you pull back on the steering wheel of your car when you see a change in field elevation ahead (Emily Green)

- the first thing you do in the morning is look at the current METAR and TAF (Emily Green)

- you've ever navigated a car using a VFR sectional (Zack Scheidker)

- you yell 'clear' before starting the car (Zack Scheidker)

- you consider yourself type-rated in an Accord LX (Zack Scheidker)

- you've completed differences training to drive the EX model (Zack Scheidker)

- when you message someone as if you were talking on the radios (Matthew Decker)

- you've had a close call (while walking, driving, even flying) because you were watching an airplane (Zack Scheidker)

- you ever wished you had the power to control the weather (either to make it clear up, or get cloudy so you wouldn't have to fly hungover/tired/sick) (Cassandra L. Jerde)

- you have sectional charts for the nearest 8 states posted on your wall in your bedroom so that it looks like one big map (Nathanial Beer)

- you convert strange things on your e6-b, like kilograms to hours, or feet to gallons (Ted Henderson)

- you know the victor airway system in your state better than the highway system (Ted Henderson)

- whenever you get that glassy look on your face, you're thinking "Intake, Compression, Power, Exhaust" (Ted Henderson)

- you've gone IFR in your car by focusing your side view mirror down and keeping the yellow line in the middle to stay on the road, just for shits (Pat Veillette)

- your "regular" friends make fun of you for having some complex (to them) scientific rationale for just about everything that confuses them (Pat Veillette)

-when you pull up to a toll booth, you address the attendant as "____ toll attendant", and give your license plate for a call sign (Graham Bostrom)

- you've read the owner's manual for your car, cover to cover (Pat Veillette)

- and you've wrote your own Weight and Balance facts and figures into said owner's manual, and taken it to a dealer for a mechanic's signature (Jamie Hamilton)

- you can tell what maneuvers the plane above you is doing and say it aloud (Ashley Lemmer)

- and you can critique those maneuvers and offer suggestions to perform them better (TRH)

- you are at the airport and name all the planes for hours without thinking twice (Ashley Lemmer)

- you get turned on by the sound of an a/c engine (Ashley Lemmer)

- you would rather fly than to have sex (Ashley Lemmer)

- your video library is full of aviation classics such as top gun, iron eagle, etc (Ashley Lemmer)

- you notice that all the ships on Star Trek actually have Nav Lights on them (Nathanial Beer)

- you've checked the FARs to see if they are positioned correctly (Nathanial Beer)

- a nightmare is a dream about bad weather (Carol Cushman)

- you always dream you are flying (Ashley Lemmer)

- you don't think of weather as good, bad, or ugly, but rather as VFR, MVFR, or IFR (Jamie Hamilton)

- you blame the "crosswind" for every little thing (Matt Scheafer)

- you can tell you've gained some weight because your usual landing technique no longer results in the usual greasing it on the runway (Zack Scheidker)

- you call to pushback from the driveway and to taxi out to the street (Dustin Largin)

- you have white boards in every room and use them daily to randomly write acronyms to see if you still remember (Ashley Lemmer)

- you use the plotter on regular road maps; draw a straight line from point A to point B and find the appropriate roads closest to the said line (Ashley Lemmer)

- you're suspicious of the fuel gauge in your car, and instead work out when you need gas by looking at the odometer (Colin Nelson)

- your car isn't measured by how many miles but how many hours you have put on it (Dustin Largin)

- you get scared when you check the gas in your car because it is clear, and you are afraid some one mixed 80/87 in with your 100LL (Russell Carter)

- you get happy when you hear the word "glass" because it's not something you put a drink in (Jeremy Maswary)

- when a commoner asks for the WX, you always give it in METAR format (Ashley Lemmer)

- you never trust the weather person on tv, you always check AWOS or ATIS (Ashley Lemmer)

- your camera is full of airplanes; many of which are several shots of the same aircraft, just different angles (Ashley Lemmer)

- you have ever answered your phone with your call sign or as unicom if you work at an FBO (Joshua David Shackelford)

- when you're talking to Flight Service on the phone and you use proper radio phraseology (Nathanial Beer)

- you've ever been pulled over for driving on the centerline...and gotten away with it because you can explain (Jonathan Bullock)

- you've used "Suck, Squeeze, Bang, Blow" together and it wasn't sexual (Travis Rup)

- your favorite number happens to be 1200 (Travis Rup)

- you are really good at multi tasking even out of the cockpit (Nathanial Beer)

- you include the compass direction when you give someone driving directions (you say "turn east" instead of "turn left") (Steve Andersen)

- you can guess an aviation-related phrase in hangman, and get it right, before any letters (Eric Colorado Smith)

- you ask for Whiskey Delta Four Zero instead of WD-40 (Jamie Hamilton)

- you find something not working right in your car and you pull out the manual looking for the MEL to see if you can defer its maintenance (Andy Paluch)

- you've never used reverse in your car (Jonathan Thorne)

- "holding your privates" isn't dirty to you (Ryan Robinson)

- your non-aviation friends swear they'll never again sit at the same table as you and at least one other pilot (Andrew Walton)

- you constantly say "stand by" when someone asks you a question and you have to find the answer (Kevin Hathaway)

- if you talk like this during takeoff... http://youtube.com/watch?v=ZUUEAHOJIKA (proposed and narrated by Will Gardner)

- you get in a car and wonder for a moment where the yoke is (Graham Widgery)

- when loading a car, you worry more about the weight of the load, rather than size, and how it will affect the performance (Rob Farmer)

- when giving driving directions you use the "clock" method: "turn left when you see the gas station at your 2 o'clock, turn right when you see the library at your 10:30 (Stacey Turner)

- you know what the Valsalva maneuver is, and use it on a regular basis (Colin Nelson)

- you attempt to do coordinated turns in your car, but end up either accelerating or braking (Malek Mezdour)

- the back seat of your car is littered with weight and balance sheets, VNC charts, flight computers, and other flying paraphernalia (Colin Nelson)

- you refer to your speedometer as a forward velocity indicator and every switch as a master (Jarrah H)

- whenever there's a plane crash on the news, all your friends call you up asking about, because they assume you know all about it (Lewis Haldenby)

- you answer any request made of you with "roger, wilco" (Melanie M)

- you cringe every time on of your non pilot friends says "over and out" in the same sentence over the radio (Melanie M)

- you "Clear the Final" before you pull out of your driveway (Justin Hoffman)

- you might be a pilot if you read the abbreviation of advertisement ("Ad") as "AD"(Airworthiness Directive") (Neha Agarwal)

- you try to call ground control before driving anywhere (Rob Byrum)

- you know the frequency and location of the local AM radio stations (Jonathan Thorne)

- you went to Kehbeck for vacation, not Quebec (Jonathan Thorne)

- you use 'disregard' and 'standby' in normal conversation (Sarah Pope)

- you have an urge to install a fuel pressure gauge, fuel rate consumption gauge, airspeed indicator, mixture control, battery master switch, a separate switch for all lights, an extra fuel tank of equal capacity, fuel sumps, fuel selection valve, and easy-to-get-to circuit breakers in your car (Jamie Hamilton)

- you've worn your aviation headset in the car to drown out the highway noise (double points if people give you really weird looks) (Jamie Hamilton)

- you bought those little mailbox stickers and put them on your driver's side door under the window, with "Capt." in front of your name (Jamie Hamilton)

- you remove ALL ice, snow, frost, and sometimes even dew from your car before using it (Jamie Hamilton)

- you say clear prop before starting your car (Andy Karhan)

- you pull up at a drive through and start asking for a standard VFR weather briefing (Steve Bailey)

- the smell of AVTUR makes you pause, inhale and smile (Tom Carter)

- if you preferred Northerly Island when it was Meigs Field rather than a Park(Dan Bayley)

- you think of your credit card bill as an investment, and you've grown to accept the number of digits appearing on it (Dan Bayley)

- you know the only real unit of distance is the Nautical Mile (Dan Bayley)

- you actually consider driving with the hood on(Dan Bayley)

- you wish that the road map showed 4pm shadow and local elevation (Dan Bayley)

- you calculate the time it takes to drive home to the nearest minute and dip the tanks when you get there (Dan Bayley)

- you put a red filters in your car's floodlights (Dan Bayley)

- you have your FBO and ASA on autodial (Dan Bayley)

- 121.5 replaces 000 or 911 (Dan Bayley)

- ou keep looking for MEAs on road maps. You'd think they'd at least have an OROCA on the darn thing (Michael Imhoff)

- the term "Air Head" takes on a completely different meaning (Kris Gubetta)

- 250 is a lot of horsepower (Ryan Domenick)

- your mini cooper seems very roomy (Ryan Domenick)

- you have ever tried to convince a police officer that you were not speeding in calibrated ground speed (Ryan Domenick)

- the altimeter in your car just never seems to work (David Reeves)

- you can recite the phonetic alphabet as fast and in the same tone/tune as the regular alphabet (Steve Blatter)

- you might be a pilot if you are a passenger in a car and the driver sucks. You look over and say "just drive the car" (Paul Dabrowski)

- you know IFR really means "I follow Roads" (Kevin Jordan)

- every time your friends see a plane, they immediately ask you what kind it is (Jimmy Foley)

- you preflight your lawnmower (David Otey)

- you can't help spelling license plates in phonetical alphabet Alexandre Aboukhater)

- you always have an empty wide-necked bottle in your car (Alexandre Aboukhater)

- you try to request clearance to leave your driveway (James Wallbank)

- you know ground effect is a principle of physics, not extra plastic on the bottom of your car (Kail Decker)

- you look at a flag and determine the wind direction and speed and dream about the approach ;-) (Tekin Beyaz)

- when you approach a girl at the bar, you go through your checklist (Albert Judah)

- you call out, "Airspeed alive, engine instruments in the green," and pull back on the steering wheel at Vr when you hit the freeway (Samantha Ringhand)

- while doing computer work, you take 5 minute breaks every 20 minutes to watch flightlevel350.com and browse airliners.net (Mike Pochettino)

- you have a pilots license (Spencer Cercone)

- it pisses you off when you tell your friends you are going to Oshkosh and they say, "B'GOSH!!!" (Lauren Steere Schmidt)

- you refer to your city by it's airport's ICAO call sign, not the real name of the city (Lauren Steere Schmidt)

- you get upset during TV shows and movies showing airplane scenes - because they just can't do it right (Lauren Steere Schmidt)

- you cringe every time u hear someone say 10-4 thinking they know what there talking about (Kyle Nutt)

- negitive has replaced no in your daily speach (Kyle Nutt)

- you have wx brief on speed dial (Kyle Nutt)

- you habitually sit with your feet three inches apart like they are resting on the brakes (Reuben Marquard)

- when you're on the phone and at a red light and you tell whoever you're talking to that you are "holding short" (Reuben Marquard)

- you cause accidents because you see a flag and turn your controls "into the wind" (Daniel Kelly)

- when chicks ask you how long you can keep it up, you respond by asking 'with IFR reserves?" (Jonathan Gabbert)

- during a brief on directional divergence you go from discussing flat spins to a heartfelt discussion on Goose's death in Top Gun without noticing (Matt Wilson)

- you realize that switching topics as in the previous example illustrates lack of situational awareness (Jamie Hamilton)

- you know squawk has nothing to do with birds (Rose Berman)

- you wonder what plane you could take off from the road your driving on (Luke Snowdowne)

- while your driving around your airport you look for good off-field landing areas (Daniel Suba)

- you have at least a dozen pictures of your self on, near, or in an aircraft (Tyler VanHeel)

- you understand that Zero is a number and Oscar is a letter; there is no 'Oh' (Trevor Nelson)

- you know that Oshkosh isn't just a brand of overalls (Brandon Freeman)

- instead of "what" its "say again" (Lee Khan)

- when driving around the block, you refer to it as "working the pattern" (Ryan Domenick)

- you call for the landing checklist a block from your destination (Billy Barber)

- buying a house near an airport is an added bonus for you (Christine 'Teeny Banken' Voyda)

- you're driving and you see railroad crossing X's painted on the road and freak out because you think the road is closed (Kyle McLeod)

- you stay well below Va on the highway on a windy day (Nathan Usher)

- you write your shopping list on old approach plates (Jan Cato Vold)

- you arbitrarily turn air control nobs in your car until you remember you're on the ground in a car (Reuben Marquard)

- if you ask people if they know where the fire extinguisher is and if they know how to operate the doors in your car (Reuben Marquard)

- you ask for de-ice when your car is covered in snow or ice, then realize you have to do it yourself (Mike Merlo)

- you grip the shifter of your car (the center console kind) like a throttle on the aircraft (Keith Hammis)

- when you're in the car and instinctively use the handbrake while trying to slow yourself down (Chris Jephcott)

- during a casual talk about navigation and ground speed checks, you just start laughing when someone asks how long a battery lasts on your E6-B (Ellen Bunn)

- you have a telescopic steering wheel in your car, you have at least once unlocked the locking lever on it and have used a freely moving steering wheel while driving, pretending that it was a flight yoke (Abhishek Chowdhari)

- when you hear the boiler whistle go off in your kitchen, you immediately push down (with whatever you're holding) thinking it's the stall warning horn (Anthony Lam)

- you absolutely hate when you hear someone say "over and out", because you know that you can't end a transmission wanting a response, and not wanting a response at the same time (Jonathan Pritchett)

- you won't consider applying to a graduate school without an airport in a 5nm radius (Andrew Leonard)

- you bought a suction-cup magnetic compass for the windshield of your car/truck (Michael Hollis)

- you dressed up in your pilot uniform for any Halloween after receiving your license (Michael Hollis)

- you have a license plate frame that says "My Other Vehicle Is An Airplane" (Michael Hollis)

- you've ever had to spell out a word and sub-consciously used the phonetic alphabet (Michael Hollis)

- you know that EATSHT is a convective sigmet acronym, and know what a convective sigmet is (Michael Hollis)

- when sitting in the passenger seat of a car, you feel very uneasy about not having your own set of controls (Samantha Ringhand)

- you reach for the mixture knob instead of the key after parking your car (Nick Kremer)

- when approaching a road lined with trees, your first thought is "my wings won't clear them" (Christopher Allen)

- you book your flights according to aircraft, not times (Ben Fluth)

- you constantly baffle your friends by using the clock system to point out objects in your environment (Colin Nelson)

- you have a license tag that says, "FLY" (Ashton Guthrie)

- you use old sectional, WAC, and L-Charts as wrapping paper (Christopher Allen)

- you refer to the front and rear wheels of your motorcycle as the nosewheel and tailwheel respectively (John Paul Clough)

- you get your son the same car so you can properly formate and scream down the toll road echelon right (Drew Eginton)

- you get annoyed when you drive to the bar with a friend and she doesn't pull into the next space and align her car precisely on your mark (Drew Eginton)

- you used to think a 100+ hp motorcycle was pretty cool, and then you realized a) it only offered two degrees of freedom; and b) you'd look like a dope wearing a parachute (Drew Eginton)

- you've ever had to explain to somebody why you have a "Private Oral Exam Guide" with you at school (Jonathan Bullock)

- when contemplating dinner plans, you consider everything within a three-state radius, then check the METARs and Prog Charts to narrow your list (Jonathan Bullock)

- you've ever thought about how cool it would be to get St. Elmo's Fire in your car (Jonathan Bullock)

- you commonly refer to your Volkswagen as a Jett-A (Jonathan Bullock)

- you're an expert on determining who's hot or not based on how they sound over the radios (Jonathan Bullock)

- you've ever wondered what kind of reaction your girlfriend would have if you G loaded the aircraft during "air head" (E.J. Lennerth)

- you've named a family pet Piper, Cirrus, or any other manufacturer/callsign (David Readout)

- you wish your car had magnetos (Gannon McDonald)

- you automatically look for the prime when your car wont start (Rebecca Sweeney)

- you have stickers like "dome lights", "fuel pump" or "master power" switch under light switches and things around your house (Kieran Truefitt)

- you say 'Go Around" on a "missed park" (Dennis Ilitchev)

- you put fake switches and gauges in your car and pretend to go through your checklist just for the hell of it (Ryan LesondaRyan Lesondak)

- you enjoy arriving or departing Oshkosh with whiskey (Willy Popp)

- you think MFD stands for "Mother Fuckin' Display" (Willy Popp)

- you have an "I cook my breakfast on my kneeboard" bumper sticker (bonus points if you actually do) (Mike Westenberger)

- you know what 100 knots minus 70 knots is, but you don't know what 100-70 is (Mike Westenberger)

- Flight Simulator makes your balls tingle (Mike Westenberger)

- you read the FARs as a bed time story to kids you babysat (Mike Westenberger)

- you're able to hold and it's nothing sexual (Krzysztof Malek)

- you refer to your car's cruise control as the auto throttle (Ryne Treatch)

- you have ever allowed for wing clearance while driving (Alex McIsaac)

- you can't stand to watch airplane crashes in movies and actually get a little choked up (Andrea Hammerton)

- you enjoy telling people that you are a pilot in completely unpilot related discussions (Ian Gilmartin)

- your headset is in the top three most expensive things you own (Kyle Bornhorst)

- you listen to the weather and have to convert the winds from mph (km/h) into knots, them determine if it would be a good idea to go flying (Ellen Bunn)

- you've caught yourself using "wheels up at......." when asked what time you're leaving on a road trip (Matt Nichols)

- you group your friends into the following categories: non-pilot, private, instrument, commercial, bob hoover (Andrew Greco)

- your mate says he is going to take his new car "for a spin" and you ask what recovery technique he prefers (Mat Sansom)

- instead of passing a car, you stay in formation with it (Nick Noulas)

- whilst discussing skiing holidays and the fun to be had on the slopes, you consider it funny to say "The only slopes I have done recently are glideslopes," only for the entire room to go quiet and look at you with a look on non-comprehension (Chris Jephcott)

- you're being asked in a marketing test what PPR means and your only answer is Prior Permission Required (Alexandra Kallay)

- after being handed a beer you promptly reply "Taking over" (Brendon Rossow)

- don't say "who's your DADDY?!" , but rather "who's the P.I.C?!" (Vibhor Gulati)

- you refer to the person driving the car you're in as the "D.I.C" (Rebecca Sweeney)

- you know what a circadian rhythm is and realize that you don't have one (Rebecca Sweeney)

- you cannot score in football or soccer - because you like to keep the ball in the middle (Carol 'de Solla Atkin)

- while driving with friends, you refer to getting on the interstate as entering the traffic pattern (Carlos Marbot)

- you pick where you want to fly to based on the courtesy car (Brian Ruddick)

- you say "T's and P's in the green, good to go" out loud after turning out of your drive onto the road and are accelerating away (Unash Daswani)

- you like pretending the hand brake in your car is for the "flaps" (Oli Barker)

- you attempt a forward slip in your car and it goes horribly wrong (Daniel Cardoso)

- your desktop background is a picture form airliners.net (Julian McNamee)

- you get excited when it hails because you know what clouds are above you and then you think that there could be thunder and lightning (Kieran Truefitt)

- you love the look of CBs, especially with the anvil (Kieran Truefitt)

- you know that women dont only have problems driving (Jonathan Rademaker)

- you store quality FAA reading material in your bathroom for that special time when duty calls (Collin Tice)

- you slow down to Va speed on a windy day in your car (Oli Barker)

- you have ever thought about/tried TITSing the the radio station in your car (Kyle Bornhorst)

- on road trips you look at fields you drive by and rate them by how well you could land on an engine failure (Brian Ruddick)

- you reach for the landing light switch when you pull into your driveway (Alex Cole)

- when pulled over by cops, you take out your pilot license when asked to show your driving license (Rajendra Pratap)

- you're willing to spend twice as much time and money going somewhere if doing so will let you fly yourself to your destination, instead of riding airline or (especially) driving (Doug Whitesell)

 

- you've read the entire list, and laugh your ass off cause you've done half of it, and can see yourself doing the other half (Ellen Bunn)